Teach Me All the History You Want, Baby
by 0equilibrium0
Summary: England never should have agreed to this. But what's a vacation compared to the joy of teaching?


Disclaimer: I do not own APH.

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America-Mr. Jones, here-grinned at his students. He knew that he didn't have to work; the government would provide him with anything and everything he could possibly need, and quite a bit of what he merely wanted. But he _liked_ teaching, especially World History, which was the class that the high school freshmen had arrived to attend.

"Hey everybody! Welcome back! How was your fall break?" There was a general murmur of well-being, but no one seemed eager to converse with their hyper teacher. "Okay! You know how I said before break that _after_ break we'd be completely through with Asia, and that we'd move on to Europe? Well, I've got a surprise for you!" With that Alfred gestured dramatically at the figure lurking in the corner. "This is a friend of mine, Arthur Kirkland, and he's agreed to talk to you all about the history of England! He's a college professor, so let's hope he knows what he's talking about." Alfred winked at his class. There was a bit of quiet laughter in response.

"At least this isn't just some trick to get me to visit you." Arthur grumbled. "I was having a lovely vacation in the Pennines before you dragged me out here." A group of girls started whispering amongst themselves, cooing over his accent.

"The Pennines? What's that?" Alfred cocked his head, bangs brushing the rims of his glasses.

"A mountain range, often called 'the backbone of England'." Arthur answered tiredly, as if used to that kind of question.

"Um, Mr. Jones?" One of the students who had been whispering raised her hand. "Why did you have to ask what the Pennines were? Didn't you once say that your specialty was English geography?"

"Oh he did, did he?" Arthur raised an eyebrow at Alfred.

Alfred just laughed nervously.

"Fair's fair, I suppose, considering that I am something of a master of American geography." Arthur smirked.

"Really? 'Cause I heard that it was French." Alfred grinned a challenge.

"And I was under the impression that you were quite familiar with Japanese." The students began whispering again, wondering what the teachers were alluding to.

"Better than Prussian."

"Perhaps, but at least it's not Russian."

Alfred blanched. "That was _one time!_ And, and I was drunk!"

"Drunk? That's hardly a good excuse, considering that it was the _Co_—" Arthur cut himself off.

"It doesn't matter when it was! Ivan probably doesn't even remember it. We were both pretty smashed." Alfred said, more to himself than Arthur.

"So? He has a high alcohol tolerance. Makes sense, considering he practically lives off vodka."

"High pain tolerance, too." Alfred mumbled, once again to himself.

"Oh?" Arthur purred the questioning syllable, suppressed laughter clear in his voice. "Do you have something you want to share with the class?"

Alfred blushed and didn't answer.

"We have students to be teaching, Alfred." Arthur reminded after a moment of awkward silence.

"Right!" And suddenly Alfred was back to his usual self. "Okay, what should we start with?" He grinned at Arthur expectantly. "How 'bout the colonization of the new world?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You might want to ask Antonio about that one. The Spanish—"

"Forget the Spanish! Who was that king that beheaded most of his wives? Wasn't he English?" Alfred grinned, and he seemed younger than his students.

"Henry VIII? He was King of England from April 1509 to January 1547. And he only beheaded two of the six."

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"…at this point in time, the Industrial Revo…" Arthur glanced at the clock. "What time is this class over?"

"In about…now." The bell rang in time with Alfred's words. The students scrambled out of the room.

Arthur sighed heavily and dropped into Alfred's chair. "And this is only the first class?"

"Yup. But isn't teaching fun?" Alfred's eyes shone.

"No." Arthur swiped Alfred's water bottle and promptly chugged a quarter of it. "I've been talking for an hour and a half."

"Poor baby." Alfred cooed mockingly.

"Quiet, git. It was _your_ students that gave me this headache." Arthur snapped.

"I've got planning next period, if that makes you feel any better." Alfred perched on the edge of his desk.

"Much."

Alfred couldn't tell from Arthur's flat tone whether he was being sarcastic or not.

"Want me to go get you some more water, or something?" Alfred slid to his feet, prepared to play gofer. It was the least he could do after dragging Arthur away from what was a rather relaxing vacation.

"I'm fine." Arthur waved a hand dismissively. "Though it is nice to see you so…_submissive_." A smirk played at the corners of his lips.

Alfred's face split into a grin. "Glad you approve, Professor."

"Indeed." And then Arthur pulled Alfred down to meet him, and their lips crashed together, and for a moment nothing else mattered.

Arthur trailed his hands down Alfred's back and teasingly squeezed his ass. The action seemed to pull the younger of the two back to the present.

"Arthur…we shouldn't…not here…what if someone comes in?" Alfred drew back, worry reflected clearly behind his glasses.

"Don't be daft, Alfred. I know that door locks." Arthur refused to relinquish his grip on the waistband of Alfred's pants.

"Oh. Oh yeah! It does, doesn't it?"

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Mona sighed. _Damnit, I forgot my jacket._ She shifted her books in her arms. _Guess I better go back and get it, then. Mr. Jones'll probably write me a hall pass, so that I'm not counted late for my next class._

She trotted back down the hallway toward the proper classroom, berating herself for forgetting one of her most precious possessions: a coal black leather jacket that, new, probably would have cost at least two hundred dollars.

The door opened easily at her touch, swinging inward smoothly.

Mr. Kirkland had Mr. Jones pressed up against the blackboard, the duo locked together at the mouth. Kirkland was threading his fingers through Jones's hair with one hand and undoing the taller man's belt with the other.

Mona's books dropped with a cacophonous clatter. The teachers tore apart, Jones looking guilty, though Kirkland seemed more annoyed.

"Um, I-I just came back t-to get my jacket. I forgot it…I'll b-be leaving now!" She tugged her jacket from underneath a desk and scrambled to gather her books and escape as quickly as possible, hall pass forgotten.

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Alfred laughed nervously. "I guess locks work better when you remember to use 'em, huh?"

..

Yay! My first UKxUS story! I'm so proud! *grins stupidly* Um, I know I should be working on _Haunted House_, and I swear I am! But this plot bunny just wouldn't leave me alone…I hope you all liked it! Equilibrium out!  
(Now edited and re-uploaded)


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